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Why Some Teens Struggle to Stay on Topic in Conversations 

Smiling woman pointing to text reading "Why Some Teens Struggle to Stay on Topic in Conversations" on a green and white background. | Total Communication | Singapore

Have you ever noticed your teen starting a conversation about one thing, only to shift to something completely unrelated suddenly?


You might be discussing school, and halfway through, they begin talking about a video they watched. Or they interrupt with a detail that seems disconnected from the main discussion. For some adolescents, staying on topic in conversation is surprisingly difficult. And it is not simply a matter of rudeness or lack of effort.


In this blog:


Conversation Is a Cognitive Task

Many people assume conversation is natural and automatic. In reality, it requires several complex skills working together at once:

  • Holding the topic in working memory

  • Monitoring what the other person is saying

  • Inhibiting unrelated thoughts

  • Organising responses logically

  • Reading social cues to determine relevance


If one or more of these areas is weaker, teens may appear to “go off track” frequently.


Executive Function Plays a Role

Staying on topic requires inhibitory control and sustained attention. Teens who struggle with executive functioning may:

  • Blurt out ideas as soon as they think of them

  • Change topics abruptly

  • Insert unrelated facts into discussions

  • Forget the original point of the conversation


Often, they are not trying to derail the discussion. Their brains are simply moving faster than their ability to filter and organise thoughts.


Language Organisation Difficulties

Some teens also have difficulty organising their thoughts verbally. They may:

  • Start speaking before they have fully structured their idea

  • Provide excessive background information

  • Jump between details without clear connections

  • Struggle to identify the main point of what they want to say

When ideas are not internally organised, conversations can sound scattered.


Social-Pragmatic Awareness

Conversation also requires perspective-taking. Teens must continuously ask themselves:

  • Is this relevant?

  • Does the other person need this information?

  • Am I answering the question that was asked?

If perspective-taking skills are still developing, the teen may unintentionally introduce tangential or overly detailed comments.


When It Becomes More Noticeable in Secondary School

These challenges often become more apparent during adolescence. Secondary school conversations are more abstract and nuanced. Topics required:

  • Explaining opinions

  • Justifying reasoning

  • Staying on theme during group discussions

  • Interpreting implied meanings

Teens who previously managed well in primary school may suddenly struggle when conversational demands increase.


What Parents Can Do

  1. Model structured responses. After your teen shares something unrelated, gently redirect: “That’s interesting. Let’s finish talking about this first.”

  2. Ask clarifying questions. “How does that connect to what we were discussing?”

  3. Encourage summarising. Practise asking your teen to summarise their main point in one sentence.

  4. Support executive functioning. Strengthening attention, inhibition, and working memory often improves conversational coherence.


When to Seek Support

If your teen frequently:

  • Loses track of discussions

  • Struggles in group projects

  • Misinterprets conversational cues

  • Appears socially disconnected despite wanting friendships


It may indicate underlying language organisation or executive functioning challenges.

Targeted intervention can help teens:

  • Stay on topic

  • Organise thoughts clearly

  • Interpret social cues accurately

  • Build confidence in peer interactions

Conversation is not just social. It is cognitive. And with the right support, it can be strengthened.


An invite to connect:

Call/WhatsApp: +65 9115 8895


Smiling person in glasses sits on a beige chair, wearing a striped shirt. A colorful painting and plant are in the background. Cozy setting.

Bethany Yu

Developmental - Educational Therapist

Drawing on her multicultural background and training in evidence-based approaches, Bethany specialises in strengthening executive functioning, language organisation, and learning skills. She is passionate about personalised, motivating support that helps teens build confidence, clarity of thought, and independence- both in the classroom and in everyday communication.


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