When Will My Child Talk?
- Prudence Low
- Oct 30
- 3 min read
Every parent hopes to hear their child’s voice - the “Mommy,” the laughter, the questions, the “I love you.” For parents of children on the autism spectrum, this hope often turns into an anxious question: “When will my child talk?”
As therapists, we hear this question every week. But what we’ve learned, from both research and experience, is that speech itself is not the first goal. Speech is a symptom, a beautiful byproduct of many systems working together beneath the surface.
Speech is More than Words
Meaningful speech doesn’t come just from practicing sounds or repeating phrases. It comes when a child:
Wants to communicate (has intention)
Shares experiences with others (joint attention)
Finds joy in mutual interaction
Understands “self” and “other”
Feels safe enough to explore and connect
When speech is meaningful, it is not transactional. It’s not about “I give you this to get that.” It’s about sharing something together - an idea, a feeling, a moment.
Why We Don’t Start With Imitation or Drills
Sometimes therapy models focus on mimicry, getting the child to copy words or behaviors. While imitation has its place, we don’t believe speech can be built on rote mimicry alone.
For speech to stick, it must arise from connection, co-regulation, and safety.
A child whose nervous system is in fight-or-flight - anxious, overwhelmed, or confused - cannot access the part of the brain that allows for communication.
Safety First: Helping the Nervous System Settle
Many autistic children live in a constant state of alert. The world feels unpredictable, confusing, and sometimes frightening.
Our role is to help the child feel safe through routine, rhythm, and predictability. Predictability is not about making life rigid; it’s about helping the child feel secure enough to eventually handle change.
We scaffold predictability through patterns such as:
Repeated daily routines
Familiar transitions
Step-by-step visuals and rhythms
Predictable caregiver responses
Once the child experiences the world as stable and kind, their brain shifts from safety-seeking to growth-seeking and that’s when development blooms.
Back to the Beginning: Attachment and Co-Regulation
The foundation of all communication is relationship.
We often “peel back” our intervention to what an infant experiences in early bonding:
Hand-holding and gentle physical play
Push-pull games and rhythmic back-and-forth actions
Shared smiles and emotional mirroring
Simple anticipation games like peekaboo
These non-verbal, sensory, and emotional exchanges build the neural scaffolding for future language.
The child learns that “When I reach out, someone responds. When I smile, someone smiles back.”
The Power of Joint Attention
Joint attention, when a child and adult focus on the same thing with shared awareness is not just about eye contact. It’s about the integration of many capacities:
Social referencing
Shared emotional states
Anticipation and turn-taking
Recognition that “your thoughts are different from mine”
When these layers come together, language finally has something to stand on.
The Real Goal
So, when parents ask “When will my child talk?” — our answer is:
“Speech will come when your child’s world feels safe, predictable, and filled with joy.”
Our work begins with attachment, regulation, and connection because from these roots, meaningful speech naturally grows.
Let’s focus not only on getting children to speak, but helping them want to communicate, to share joy, curiosity, and ideas. When we make space for that, speech becomes not the goal, but the celebration.
If you’d like to understand your child’s communication journey more deeply whether it’s about building meaningful speech, fostering connection, or supporting emotional regulation, our team at Total Communication Therapy Centre can help.
Our therapists work closely with families to create supportive, evidence-based pathways that nurture both communication and confidence.
Call or WhatsApp us at +65 9115 8895 to speak with one of our therapists and explore how we can support your child’s growth.
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