Early Communication and Autism: Your FAQs, Answered
- Prudence Low
- May 6
- 4 min read
We’ve had the privilege of supporting many families as they navigate the early stages of communication development in children on the autism spectrum. And time and time again, we hear the same thoughtful, heartfelt questions during our initial conversations.
So we thought, why not put those questions (and answers) into one place?
This blog isn’t meant to be prescriptive or clinical. It’s a reflection of real questions from real parents. If you’ve asked any of these, know that you’re not alone. And more importantly, these are great questions to ask.
Q: How can I support joint attention at home? My therapist says they’re working on it, but turn-taking doesn’t seem automatic.
Joint attention is a milestone, not a starting point. It’s the product of many prelinguistic skills coming together like facial gazing, shared emotion, gestures, imitation, and co-regulation.
If your child isn't yet taking turns naturally or doesn't seem to 'notice you' during play, it's not a failure, it means the foundational layers are still under construction.
What You Can Do:
Play simple, rhythmic games like peek-a-boo or clapping.
Pause to encourage a response.
Use one object together (like a ball or bubbles).
Narrate what you’re doing without testing.
Celebrate brief engagement moments.
Joint attention grows through repeated, joyful shared experiences not performance.
Q: He doesn’t seem keen on a task. He just plays with one toy he likes and won’t engage with the rest.
Your child may not have yet learned how to 'borrow your mind' to trust that your ideas and attention are safe and meaningful.
This avoidance is not refusal, it’s a signal of underdeveloped flexibility and uncertainty.
What You Can Do:
Offer small, low-pressure invitations.
Stay close even if they don’t respond.
Help them through gentle discomfort.
Reinforce moments when they follow your lead.
Avoiding the task may bring short-term calm, but gentle persistence brings long-term growth.
Q: I saw him pointing at a bottle near my head and then looking at me. I was lying down at that time. I know it meant something.
It absolutely did. That was a moment of referencing when a child looks at you to share focus or meaning.
This is an essential early skill in communication, showing:
Awareness of your presence
Desire to share a moment
Intentional communication, not just pointing
Respond to these moments warmly. Name what they’re referencing and celebrate their attempt to connect.
Q: He suddenly realized he wanted something his cousin had and tried to pull it from her. That never used to happen, he was passive before.
This may look like conflict, but it’s actually a good sign. Your child is now aware of others and has personal agency.
It shows emerging:
Goal-directed behaviour
Awareness that others want things too
Interest in social interaction, even if immature
Support it by modelling sharing and language: 'Let’s take turns.' These moments are the beginning of social negotiation.
Q: He was so shocked to see his cousin hiding under a blanket.
That surprise was a beautiful moment of realization: others can do unexpected things.
This marks a development in:
Social curiosity
Theory of Mind (understanding others have separate intentions)
Emotional flexibility
Encourage more play like this - covering faces, hiding objects and naming the feelings: 'That was funny!' or 'She surprised you!'
Q: Why doesn’t my child look at me while walking?
The goal isn’t eye contact, it’s intentional referencing. Your child holding your hand and walking with you is already a form of connection.
They may not look because:
Walking requires motor coordination
The environment is distracting
Looking may be overwhelming
Narrate aloud, respond when they do glance, and enjoy the shared experience of movement and presence.
Q: Every time I walk on a new path, he kicks up a fuss and starts crying. What do I do?
This resistance is due to unfamiliarity. Your child prefers sameness for security. But avoiding new paths doesn’t help him grow.
What You Can Do:
Establish a familiar base route first.
Gradually introduce small changes (one turn, a new stopping point).
Stay steady, don’t overreact to the fuss.
You are building cognitive flexibility and resilience by gently stretching their tolerance for change.
Using Declarative Language: Narrate Aloud
When we say 'narrate aloud,' we mean describing what’s happening in the environment using expressive, observational statements instead of questions.
This helps children on the autism spectrum learn how to share attention and understand language in a natural, low-pressure way.
Declarative language invites shared experience. Instead of demanding a response, it models how to think, feel, and observe the world aloud.
Examples While Walking:
"Look at those flowers! They’re so red.”
“I hear a dog barking—do you hear it too?”
“That car is going fast! Zoom!”
“Wow, the wind is blowing the leaves!”
“Let’s walk up the hill. I wonder what we’ll see at the top.”
“That gate is open. I think someone just came out.”
Why this works:
Builds real-world vocabulary without pressure
Encourages joint attention and referencing
Models curiosity and emotional connection
Supports children who may not yet respond to questions
Remember: the goal is not a verbal reply. The goal is to help your child internalize shared language and emotional connection through meaningful, repeated experiences.
Let’s Recap
Early communication isn’t about teaching kids to perform. It’s about helping them experience connection in safe, meaningful ways through play, observation, curiosity, and shared presence.
And no, progress doesn’t always look linear. But every glance, surprise, protest, or shared moment? It counts.
Need support understanding your child’s early communication?
We’re here to help not just with strategies, but with partnership.
At Total Communication Therapy, we work closely with families to understand where your child is right now and where they’re heading next. If you'd like to chat, get in touch with Jerlyn, our Client Liaison, to schedule a discovery call.
📞 +65 9115 8895
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