Beyond Behaviour: A Communication - First Approach to Autism for Parents in Singapore

Let’s Clear Up the Biggest Misunderstanding About Autism

A lot of parents come to us saying, “Can you help fix my child’s behaviour?”

And we always pause -  kindly, but firmly.

Because autism isn’t about behaviour. It’s about communication.

Every movement, every sound, every meltdown, every silence… It’s communication happening in a different language.

The moment parents shift from “How do I stop this behaviour?” to “What is my child trying to communicate?” everything changes..

Let’s break down what meaningful communication really looks like in autistic children, what parents should watch for, and how you can support your child’s development without falling into the trap of trying to “fix” them.

Understanding Autism Through a Communication Lens

Autism affects how a child:

• Communicates

• Processes the world

• Manages sensory input

• Engages with people

• Regulates emotions

So when a child doesn’t respond the way you expect, it isn’t refusal, it’s regulation, sensory overload, anxiety, or difficulty expressing needs.

Meaningful Communication vs. Speech

Here’s a big one: Speech =/= Communication.

A child may be:

• Completely non-speaking

• Occasionally speaking

• Highly verbal but scripted

• Speaking fluently but struggling with social communication

All of these are autistic communication profiles.

Meaningful communication means:

• Using gestures

• Vocalising

• Pointing

• Leading you to an item

• Using alternative communication (AAC)

• Making eye contact when comfortable

• Showing you something important to them

Speech is one method, not the only one.

Common Communication Patterns in Autistic Children

Here are signs parents often overlook or misinterpret:

1. Echolalia (Repeating Words or Phrases)

   This isn’t “meaningless copying.”It’s a language-building tool. Kids use it to practise, regulate, or request.

2. Scripting

   Using lines from videos or songs. Often used to express feelings indirectly.

3. Gestures Instead of Words

   When speech is hard, the body speaks louder.

4. Limited Use of ‘Back-and-Forth’ Conversation

   It doesn’t mean your child isn’t interested. They may just not know how to start or maintain interaction.

5. Communication Through Behaviour

   Meltdowns, avoidance, or resistance often mean:

   1. “I’m overwhelmed.”

   2. “This transition is too fast.”

   3. “This sensory input is too much.”

   4. “I don’t understand what you want.”

      
      

These are communication attempts, not “naughtiness.”

Why Speech Might Be Delayed or Irregular

A mix of factors can affect speech:

• sensory overload

• motor planning challenges

• limited joint attention

• anxiety

• difficulty processing verbal information

• difficulty coordinating mouth movements

• low intrinsic motivation to speak

• preference for non-verbal communication

This is why a holistic approach is essential; you can’t force speech. You support communication.

How Parents Can Support Meaningful Communication at Home

Here’s what actually helps:

1. Follow Your Child’s Lead: Engage with what they’re interested in not what you wish they were interested in.

2. Use Simple, Clear Language: Short phrases. Slow pace. Predictable wording.

3. Pair Words with Actions: Model language naturally. Example: “Open door” while opening the door.

4. Reduce Sensory Load Before Speaking Tasks: A calm brain communicates better than an overwhelmed brain.

5. Use AAC if Needed: AAC doesn’t delay speech, it accelerates communication.

6. Celebrate All Communication: A point, a sound, a gesture, they all count.

How Total Communication Supports Children on Spectrum

Our approach is neurodiversity-affirming, evidence-based, and rooted in communication, not compliance. We don’t force speech. We nurture it.

1. Meaningful Communication Intervention

   We build foundational skills like:

   1. joint attention

   2. shared enjoyment

   3. turn-taking

   4. initiation of communication

   5. expressive intent

   These matter far more than long vocabulary lists.

   
   

2. Sensory-Informed Therapy

   A regulated child communicates better. Our sessions integrate sensory strategies throughout.

   
   

3. Play-Based Intervention

   Children learn best when therapy feels like meaningful play.

   
   

4. Parent Training & Modelling

   You’re the communication partner your child sees the most. We teach you how to carry strategies into daily routines.

   
   

5. Custom AAC Support

   From visuals to high-tech communication devices, we help families choose and use the right tools.

Parents often tell us: “I finally understand what my child has been trying to say.”

That’s the breakthrough that matters.

When Should You Seek Professional Help?

If you notice delays or difficulties in:

• expressive language

• responding to their name

• shared attention

• engagement

• play skills

• understanding instructions

• regulation during communication attempts

…it’s time to get support.

Early intervention doesn’t push children into a mould. It helps them communicate in the way that works best for them.

Ready to Support Your Child’s Communication Journey?

Total Communication offers evidence-based autism support that prioritises meaningful communication, emotional regulation, and parent partnership.

Book a consultation to discuss your child’s communication profile.

Not ready to commit? Message our team for guidance, no pressure.

Call/WhatsApp: +65 9115 8895

Prefer a structured start? Join our communication-focused programmes, designed specifically for autistic children.

Your child isn’t “behind.”

They communicate in their own language and we’re here to help you understand it.